a showroom of mathematical ideas

I was the same person that got held back in 2nd grade addition of whole numbers that was one day told by one of the two people manning the faculty office at Berkeley that I was one of perhaps 5 people in the world that understand physics. Not as fortunate as Temple Grandin, by then I was rendered so muted by ostrization, I was barely able to sputter "Where can I get lunch to the other faculty office person as he said it. It seems just as one person is deeply offended by my physics attempt, someone else offers hope or inspiration. But in my eyes I am only that small child so I reduced myself to the "I am quitting, I am definetely quitting" manefesto whilst running all the way to Boylston Street crying after Alan Adams (MIT) hammered into me that my earlier paper was trash throwing the paper a little across the room for emphasis. The great peace that only can come with the surrender of quitting would be mine if only the very next day some hotshot freshman running a physics study seminar in the dome had not said, "There is something in this paper. Something to the paper; I cannot pinpoint  what it is". Yet more pain would be mine when Frank Wilzeck's teacher would proclain, "if you think I'm going to read your paper, I am not" or a professor would slam the door in my face when he saw me standing there asking will you read it, after a short trip to the hall where the quantum hall effect was posted proclaiming, "See this, no one understands it". Meanwhile, in chalk, rendered on the boards Kavli, Columbia, I would correctly identify the sloppy cohomology where angular momentum equalled zero just as the instructor was walking away from me, worried about my presence because I wasn't a student. Meanwhile, off my crappy web page soon to come down, someone posted "Are you the 1st to think of this?" which of course I accidentally deleted. My Berkeley flash of fleeting luck then let down holds true every visit-That is me in the Firesign Theater "George Papoon for President Barb centerfold in the early '70's as the wife of the guy in the bag. Anyway, all this in an appeal to a society comprised of old men as gatekeepers with the audacity to uphold the belief that only a young man will inherit the next break through for they shall not, and to label all data incommensurate with the standard model as the 'new physics'. I watched as this winter in a gym filled with Harvard professors, one instructor actually grading papers on a step climber, as a guy fell off the treadmill across the room and not one of them offered a hand. But given the null hypothesis cannot substantiate a bi-variate anova from the set of all determinants and no one can know just where the cancer will strike from our latest 'tour de damage', I owe this planet my effort to keep trying until my hand comes up empty just in case the woman physicist from northeastern who came up to me outside Boynton Hall MIT was right when she said I am asking all the questions people are afraid to ask. To my "I am quitting", she could only answer, no you are not. I could assume my writing Lee Smollin, Ed Witten or Andre Lynde would yield no reply. But I as well came up null when I brought my paper to the Junior College instructor in Roseburg and with the physics instructors at Humboldt State where I graduated with a degree in Forest Resource Management. I assumed I was a piece of shit in those hard sciences until I came up at the top of the curve for a statistical graduate level exit assignment. I must have never have earned that. Given the box and its contents comprise the 50 percent Shrodinger limits comprising his dilemma. It is possible to conjoin 2 sets of determinants orthogonal, isotropic, to some other ionized, activated, occilation, absorber or emitter system.  for which we have redress of count in our enhanced, reduced or conserved operation. Discrete ordered set as directed by old men often leaves out the fill richness of information their reduced count maps.